Dealing with life is a piece of cake.

I am a girl with simple needs.

I need a cup of coffee (or three) in the morning.

I need big obnoxious gaudy rings.

I need to belt out a Michael Buble song in my car every once in a while, despite how ridiculous I might look to other drivers.

I need to watch sitcoms. Friends, Big Bang Theory, The Nanny, Two and a Half Men, How I Met Your Mother, etc. I don’t know why, but they just put me in such a good mood.

I need big bear hugs. They just make everything better, even if everything is perfectly fine.

I need to talk to my cat like she’s human. You think that’s weird? That’s unfortunate, because you’re missing out on quite an interesting conversation…

I’m going to end up an old cat lady thanks to her.

I need solitary time. Not that I don’t fully enjoy spending time with others, and no, I’m not a sociopath. After discussing this with a good friend of mine, he and I decided it’s an only child thing. We’re selfish sometimes, especially when it comes to our free-time.

I need to see my grandma on a pretty regular basis. The woman is my favorite person. <– That’s a bold statement, people.

I need someone to buy me a ticket to Greece, Spain, Australia, and France. If they wanted to throw the Bahamas in there as well, I would not object. (That’s a simple need…right?)

Oh, and I need to tell you about these brownies…

Chocolate chip cookie dough brownies, to be exact. I made these for a bake sale, and it’s a good thing, too, because I probably would have gone up five pant sizes had they stayed in my house.

I saw this concept on a few different blogs, and thought I’d give it a whirl. These babies are rich. One is more than enough, which is great because:
a.) You [probably] won’t eat them all. And…
b.) You can share them with everyone you know and look totally generous.

It’s a dense, fudgey brownie with an egg-free cookie dough layer on top. You read that correctly, I said egg-free. Which means these fall in the same category as the cookie dough truffles. This is excellent news, because those were pretty fantastic and wildly popular among my coworkers. I can’t decide if I like the brownies or the truffles better. The brownies are like the adult table on Thanksgiving – slightly more sophisticated, full of discussions about politics, modern art, and a few dirty jokes; while the truffles are the kids’ table, where you’re coloring and talking to six-year-old Madeline about how Johnny Johnson is a poo-head. Neither one is necessarily better than the other – they both bring good things to your life. The adult table will expand your knowledge about the world and make you a more well-rounded person (minus the dirty joke part). Madeline reminds you that simple things like coloring and gossiping about boys is pretty damn fun. And that “poo-head” is actually a fairly decent insult.

For today, let’s sit at the adult table. It’s fun there, I promise! 🙂

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Brownies

Brownies:
5 ounces of unsweetened chocolate, chopped
1 cup unsalted butter, melted
2 1/4 cup dark brown sugar
4 eggs
3 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup plus 2 tbsp flour

1. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees, and grease a 9×13 pan.

2. Melt the chocolate in a double-boiler or in a heat-proof bowl over a pot of boiling water. Make sure to stir the chocolate frequently to prevent burning. Set aside to cool slightly.

3. Combine melted butter and brown sugar in a medium bowl.

4. Mix in eggs and vanilla.

5. Stir in melted chocolate until even.

6. Add flour, and mix in until it is just combined. Don’t over mix because this will change the consistency of your brownies.

7. Pour batter evenly into the greased pan, and bake for 25-30 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean.

8. Allow brownies to cool completely.

Cookie Dough:
3/4 cup unsalted butter
3/4 cup dark brown sugar, packed
1/2 cup granulated sugar
3 1/2 tbsp milk (any kind, doesn’t matter)
2 1/2 tsp vanilla
1 3/4 cup flour
1 cup mini chocolate chips
1/2 cup toffee bits

1. Using an electric mixer, combine the butter and sugars in a large bowl.

2. Mix in the vanilla and milk until just combined.

3. Add flour 1/4 cup at a time, mixing well after each addition until all the flour is thoroughly incorporated into the batter.

4. Stir in the chocolate chips and toffee.

5. Sparingly sprinkle toffee bits over the brownies, and lightly press them into the top.

6. Spread the dough over the cooled brownies, making sure to evenly distribute to all four corners.

7. Chill in the refrigerator for 4 hours or overnight. (The cooler the brownies get, the easier they will be to cut.)

8. Try one. Die of happiness.

So let’s see, to sum up: These brownies help you stay thin, make you look fantastically selfless, and will probably get you a few extra friends who will think you’re a genius for giving them a way to eat cookie dough without getting sick. If that isn’t good enough logic for you, let me put it this way…

You need these brownies in your life. It’s that simple.

Bon appétit!

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